I Wanna Be Bad For You Read online

  “Umm, what are you talking about, Bae? I-I wouldn’t do that… I don’t know who told you that, but somebody lying!” She tried to make excuses.

  “Listen, it don’t really matter, but I think you need a cooling off period to get your mind right or get a new watch to see who the fuck got time for this bullshit. Don’t call my number no more shorty. I’ll hit you when I’m ready to deal with you.” I hung the phone up and flipped the visor up before pressing the push start on my car. I checked my rearview mirror and backed out of the parking space.

  ~~~

  It was a warm Friday afternoon in Chicago. The sun was shining, but it was still early, and I knew that my brother, Rameek, was probably just waking up from one of his various all night binges or one night stands, so I made a left off of Damen and headed down Jackson Blvd, towards downtown, to see if our mom wanted to grab lunch. My brother and I had recently returned to Chicago after spending most of our teen years, in New York, with my father, Marco. My father had just gotten indicted on multiple drug and trafficking charges and had left strict instructions for me and my brother to move back with my mother and continue our schooling while he fought this case. As much as my father tried to keep Rameek and I away from the life he led, we were too accustomed to having money and living a certain lifestyle, so hustling on the side was something we couldn’t stop doing. Especially, while pops could possibly be out of the picture.

  At twenty-two years old, I was trying to honor my father’s wishes by staying in school, but my older brother, Rameek, was definitely my father’s child. He was stubborn and hard-headed, and he felt that following in my father’s footsteps was his birthright. Maybe that was why I was clearly our mother, Regina’s, favorite, although she would have never admitted it. I pulled my car in front of the Department of Public Health building that my mom worked in. It was 12:15, so I knew she would be on her way down for her afternoon smoke before heading to lunch.

  “Hey pretty lady!” I called out the window, as I spotted my mother dressed in her Donna Karen skirt suit. My mom was gorgeous. She didn’t look a day over thirty, but she was coming up on forty-two soon. My father had always said that she was his biggest blessing and his biggest mistake wrapped in one. A blessing, because he had never loved a woman like he loved her, and mistake, because he underestimated the level of shit that she would take before she left his ass. Nonetheless, after she’d left he’d always made sure her bank accounts stayed stacked

  “Hey, my handsome son. You spying on me?” She said, walking to my car.

  “Nah, I just wanted to see if I could get a pretty lady to have lunch with me.” I smiled at her. She hopped in, and we headed to her favorite restaurant.

  “So, what you been up to today, little boy?” My mother said, stroking the side of my face, causing me to blush.

  “Nothing, Ma. Just left school, but I’m ready to get this weekend started now.” I said, flashing my pearly whites at her, as we finished up lunch at the Grand Lux Cafe.

  “You look so much like your damn daddy, it ain’t funny.” She shook her head at me. She would never admit it, but I knew she missed him and still loved him even though she had left him almost thirteen years ago. My father had always made sure that she always had money and continued to live as she had when they were together, although she made it a point to work and make her own money. My mom had always been one of the strongest women I’d known.

  “Have you spoken to him? Is he holding up well?” She asked, turning her head, so that I couldn’t see the concern in her eyes. I could hear it in her voice that she was worried about him, though. My mom looked like a slightly darker version of Stacey Dash, and although Meek and I had inherited our father’s green eyes, her hazel eyes always mesmerized me.

  “Yea, he’s good, I talked to him earlier, but I’m sure he’d be happy if you called him, too.” I said, playing with the straw in my sprite. I watched my mom, as she continued to stare out of the window toward the busy Michigan Ave. I knew that she was probably thinking about my father. No matter how much she tried to hide her feelings, I knew that she still loved him, and it was no secret that he still loved her. After my mother, we never saw him with another woman, although I was sure that he had a few. To my father, there was no replacing Regina.

  My mother used to spend her summers in the Bronx with her aunt and uncle when she was younger and was a mere teenager when she’d met my father. Marco was a smooth talking, Dominican hustler from New York that could sell water to a whale with his charm. It had worked for Regina, because over the short summer months, he had charmed her right out of her drawers and out of her mind. After a summer romance, and months of phone calls, his thick accent and green eyes had convinced her, at sixteen years old, to leave her parents’ house and take a Greyhound to New York from Chicago in the dead of winter to be with him.

  Marco had catered to her every need, and she never questioned where his money came from. All she knew was that she had a nineteen-year-old man, who had her living like a queen, with fancy clothes, cars, and after a few months, a big belly. A year after she’d moved to New York to be with him, she had Rameek and thirteen months later, I came along. By the time I was nine, we had a huge house in upstate New York, and our driveway looked like a car dealership. Although my father was known as “the man” throughout the Bronx, he would drop everything if Regina called and said that she had so much as a paper cut, so when Danielle showed up on our doorstep, claiming that her three-year-old daughter, Diamond, was his, my mother was heartbroken. She packed me and my brother up and left that same night. It wasn’t until we were pre-teens that she agreed to let us live with our father, because “Only a man can raise a man,” she said. We never faulted her. I mean, she was young. Nonetheless, we loved our parents, dearly.

  “One thing your father has never been, is a man that would lay down and roll over for anybody. I’m sure he will be just fine.” She said, snapping out of her day dream. “Hell, after all this time, ain’t no need for me to call him now.”

  “Alright, Ma.” I said giving her a smile. I thought it was cute that both her and my father tried to downplay how they felt when they were both stubborn, but clearly, still loved one another. And, they wondered where my brother and I got it from.

  I pulled up in front of my mother’s job, and she slid out of the passenger seat with her Newport and lighter ready. Regardless if she was my mother, smoking in my whip was a no-go, unless it was some trees.

  “Okay, little boy. It’s Friday, so you be careful out here.” She warned, as she sparked her cigarette. “And, make sure you have a net for your little ding-a-ling, okay. I’m too young to be somebody’s grandma or to deal with the little hoochie coochie baby mama’s y’all might slip up with!” She warned.

  I laughed because I knew she was serious. “Alright, Ma!” I said, giving her a smile, as I put my car in drive and blew her a kiss. “Love you!” I shouted out of the window, before I cranked Meek Mill up in my sound system.

  The money turn me to a fuckin Monster

  The money turn my noodles into pasta

  The money turn my tuna into lobster

  They wanna do me and Imma do em like a monster

  Devyn

  It had been almost a full month since I moved into my place, and I was loving it. With the help of Rina, it was looking and feeling more and more like home every day. Especially, since my furniture had been delivered. Ant had scaled back on calling me from twenty times a day to about five now, but he still bombarded me with text messages. They all varied from loving me to wanting to kick my ass when he caught me. I was seriously considering changing my number. Since school was about to start, reducing my stress was top notch on my priority list, so that night, I was hitting the town with the ladies.

  “Baby, come on, let’s go!” Rina called out from my living room, “You know it’s free before eleven, tonight, so you know the line is going to be down the street.”

  We were heading to Hearts, a popular night spot near the no
rth side. My cousin, Lamar, worked the door, so they over-looked that I was only a few months shy of being twenty-one. He still warned us to make it there before the club hit capacity, though.

  I checked myself out in my full-length mirror, admiring the nude-colored Guess dress, which I’d paired with the black BCBG heels that I scored on clearance earlier that day. My hair was bone straight and parted down the middle hanging past my shoulders. I’d let Rina beat my face without over doing it with some neutral colors. Then, I sprayed myself down with my favorite scent, by Rihanna, and I was ready to rock.

  “Girlllll, you looking like a stallion!” Rina cat-called, when I walked into the living room. She was dressed in a royal blue BCBG romper and a pair of strapped gold heels.

  “For real, Baby. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a bun and sneakers on, so I hope your ass don’t fall over in them heels, honey, but you definitely working it!” Rina’s friend, Sasha, commented and I blushed.

  Sasha grew up in the same neighborhood as Rina and I, however, she and I had never really hung out. She was what my mom would call a “fast tail little girl” back in the day. She wore a pair of black leather shorts and a white silk top that stopped above her navel, with a red ankle boots that matched her lip color. She rocked a short pixie cut that made the chandelier earrings she had on stand out even more.

  “We all know I’m new to this y’all, so take it easy on me.” I said, giving them a nervous laugh. I had never really been a party girl. Hell, it was rare that my mom even let me outside growing up, and it had been even worse being with Ant who would trip if I left the front porch without him. I was usually a simple sweats and sneakers kind of girl, partially, by choice and, partially, because my ex would trip if I wore anything that would catch someone’s eye.

  “Girl, you’ll be alright once that music hit you, looking like a walking talking man trap.” Rina said, as she adjusted the hem of my already short dress. “Let’s just get there, though, ‘cause I’m ready to shake my ass!”

  We pulled up to the front of the club, and Sasha valeted her red Range Rover. Despite how awkward I felt, a shot of confidence hit me, as we bypassed the long line and breezed through the velvet ropes of the club. Rich Homie Quan’s, “Flex”, was bumping throughout the club, and neon lights were darting around the room as everyone danced.

  My cousin, Lamar, appeared with a bottle girl in tow, giving Rina and I a hug and kiss on the cheek. He’d reserved us a table right off of the dancefloor and supplied us with a bottle of Grey Goose and a hookah.

  “Rina, make sure you keep an eye out on Baby, and if y’all have any problems, I’ll be up front by the door.” He said. Lamar had always been protective over me, because I was the youngest of all the cousins. Rina was older than me by almost three years.

  After two drinks, I was relaxed and ready to party. The DJ was going crazy in the booth, so Rina and Sasha both pulled me out on the dance floor when Beyonce’ and Nicki Minaj’s, “Feeling Myself” came on. Several men approached us throughout the night looking to get a little action, as we danced with each other, but I was simply enjoying the music and the scene, so I would politely turned them down, then ignore their ignorant comments after being rejected. Rina and Sasha, on the other hand, were putting on their best show on the dancefloor and accepting drinks left and right. I hadn’t laughed that much or felt that good in a while.

  As the music slowed down, I started walking back to our table to puff on the hookah. Sasha had some guy next to the table whispering in her ear, and whatever homeboy was kicking must have been good, because she was smiling so hard that she was showing all the teeth in her mouth. Rina was still on the dance floor grinding it out with a guy who was tall enough to play professional basketball. When Meek Mills, “All Eyes On You”, came on, almost everybody went crazy hooting and hollering.

  Baaaaabbbbbbbyyyyyy is you drunk

  Did you have enough?

  Are you here looking for love

  OOOOOOO WHOO OOOOOOO

  Chris Brown sang, as I swayed to the popular song, rotating my hips and snapping my fingers to the beat. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing, so I knew someone was staring at me, but at that point, I was tipsy enough to not feel as self-conscious. I continued to gyrate my hips and make love to the song without a care in the world, as I sang along.

  I locked eyes with a tall, peanut butter skin-toned gentleman. Even from across the room, I could see his piercing green eyes. He licked his lips and raised his drink to me, giving me a boost of confidence, as I dipped down low. Although I was feeling myself, I was flattered with even that small gesture, but felt my nerves pushing through as I saw him making his way toward me. I turned around, looking for reassurance from my cousin and Sasha, but instead, I ended up catching a glimpse of Anthony huddled in the corner near our table, with some bitch all in his face, and his hand on her ass.

  It felt as if the entire room had stopped, as I watched him for a brief second. For weeks, I had been flushing him and all the shit he’d done to me out of my system, but to see him like that had caught me off guard. I could feel my cheeks warming and my eyes misting over slightly. I wanted to run out of the club and slap the shit out of Anthony and the trick he was with all at the same time, but I was pulled back into reality when the scent of Gucci Guilty cologne attacked my nostrils. I turned back around, and my face met the chest of Mr. Green eyes. Oh, my god. He smells delicious! I thought to myself.

  He was easily 6’3’, because even in my heels, I had to look up at him. His chiseled jaw relaxed just enough to flash me with a million dollar smile. His face was adorned with a cleanly manicured goatee, and I wasn’t sure if it was the liquor or the glare from the diamonds in his ears, but the waves in his low haircut had me feeling seasick. As if his looks weren’t enough, I could sense his confidence before he even opened his mouth.

  “You too pretty to be dancing alone, Ma.” He said, leaning into me and speaking in a smooth, New York accent.

  Before I could respond, he grabbed me by my hand and led me out onto the dance floor. He spun me around, and I backed my round ass into his white True Religion jeans, placing my hands on the outsides of his legs to give myself balance, as I grinded into him. I arched my back and leaned forward, rotating my hips in an S-like motion, until I felt his manhood poking me in the leg. I turned towards him, draping one arm over his broad shoulder with his hands gripping my hips, ensuring no space came between us, as I continued to wind on him without missing a beat. He placed his hand underneath my chin, lifting my face so that I was looking up at him, while he stared at me with those green eyes. God, he’s beautiful, I thought to myself, as I bit my bottom lip.

  All eyes on YOU

  When the song ended, he took my hand and walked me toward a booth that was currently occupied by a group of guys that I assumed he was with. I kept looking over my shoulder to see if Rina or Sasha had noticed me go missing or if Anthony was still hugged up. When we approached the table, I noticed a few of the guys move out of the way, as he ushered me into a seat and called out for one of the bottle girls.

  “Seem like that was your song, Ma.” He said in my ear, as the DJ sped up the music and the bass got louder. I could feel my face warming up, so I knew he could see that he had me blushing. It felt different holding the attention of someone other than my ex, but just looking at this gorgeous man, I was feeling more like Anthony who?

  “It’s everybody’s song these days.” I smiled, bashfully, while leaning into him so that he could hear me over the loud music.

  “I’m Rashaad.” He said, after staring at me for, what seemed like, forever. The way he looked at me, I swear he should have been able to see right through me. My nerves were already overpowering the effects of the liquor, and I was trying to keep my composure, but his stare was making me melt. “What’s your name, Ma?” He asked, bringing me out of my daze.

  “Baby.” I told him. He was fine as ever, but I wasn’t sold on wanting to pass my government name
out just yet.

  “All you gave me was a dance and already you want a nigga to call you baby, huh!” He chuckled. “Aight, Miss Baby!” he nodded.

  The waitress returned to the table with a bottle of Hennessy and Cîroc, and Rashaad, graciously, filled my cup. I took a few sips of the straight vodka in an attempt to calm myself down, because this man was causing my nerves to run on overdrive.

  “Yo’, how old are you, Lil’ Mama?” One of the guys seated in the booth yelled over at me. I could tell by the eyes that they were brothers, and if not, they were definitely related.

  “I’m twenty-one.” I lied, as I took another sip of my drink. I was never good at lying, and I surely wasn’t trying to embarrass myself in front of my new found eye candy.

  “You lyingggggg. You look like you about fifteen; up in here shaking your ass.” He laughed, taking a sip of his drink. “Yo, Rashaad, your ass better be careful. R. Kelly got caught up with these Chi-town chicks already!” That same guy said, causing a few of the other guys standing around to chuckle as well. Meanwhile, I was completely embarrassed. That was one of the reasons I hated having such a baby face, it never failed, even though my body definitely proved I was far from a little girl.

  “Don’t mind him, Ma.” Rashaad said, waving the loud guy off. “My brother, Rameek, is an asshole sometimes, but he don’t mean no harm. I promise.” There goes that smile again. I thought.

  “But, you def have a baby face.” He said, stroking the side of my cheek.

  “I’m twenty, but my cousin works here so he got me in. I’ll be twenty-one later on this year, though,” I admitted. His only response to my revelation was a head nod, as he licked his lips.